I was unsure of what to do. I was trying to hold everything together. I just wanted to hug her close to me. She was back and she seemed unhappy that she was back. I just wanted things to go back to how they were. When she was alive and when we were together. I really wish that we could just go back into time and that we could work on this. I hoped that she was still in love with me because right now that was not what it was seeming like. It felt like she was just going away, that she wasn't going to be anything. That she was just going to up and leave now that she was back. I went out onto our back porch and I sat on the swing. I wished that I could make her just know how happy I was that she was back. I wish she would just believe that words that were coming out of my mouth. I was at a loss for words. I didn't know what she wanted and what she wanted from me. I just wish that things were more clear. I thought that this is what she wanted. Was she regretting coming back. Right now it seemed to me like she just wanted to be dead again.
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